You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
