Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize