HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We need to get me chipped asap
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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