I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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