are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize