You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
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Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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