also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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