Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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