so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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