i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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