do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
