Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
