we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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