I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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