I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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