I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I faked an abortion last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
