I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
