I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
