Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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