Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
