i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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