That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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