Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Vodka?
Forever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
