maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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