did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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