WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
