I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
