There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
