quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
