fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
