the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
