Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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