If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
