i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
