so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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