2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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