oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
