Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
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I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.