Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
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But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
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Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom