Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude i'm inner monologue high
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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