I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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