It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
