So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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