went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
