Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
