onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
