I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
