The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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