Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
