...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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