white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
