i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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