I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need water and some morals
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
