You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
