Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
