Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
50% drunk capacity currently
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
