that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
