Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
