The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
