shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
