can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize