So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
