I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
