My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
