So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
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